Member-only story
What is the Right Age to Start Dating?
14? 16? 18? 21? 25? 30? Does it matter?
To date or not to date, that is the question.
If you’re *still* single in your late twenties or thirties, people constantly ask why you’re not married or attempting to find a partner. However, if you get married in your early twenties, people accuse you of accelerating your life before you know what you want.
As a late-bloomer to dating myself, I’d be rich if I had a dollar every time someone said, “Why don’t you try Tinder?”, “How will you know what you want in life if you don’t date when you’re young?” or “Do you even want to get married?”.
The negative backlash from my “alternative” lifestyle made me even more hesitant to put myself out there. I studied music in university for seven years. During this time, I was focused on practicing my instrument for several hours each day, making professional connections, attending summer music programs, and taking orchestral auditions.
Essentially, I was at a point in my life where I couldn’t imagine the idea of factoring in another person. I wanted the freedom of travelling or moving wherever I needed to study or work. Of course, many musicians make long-distance relationships work or have supportive partners who move with them, but I didn’t want to actively seek a relationship.
I knew that I never owed anyone an explanation for my non-dating life, but it was hard to ignore the societal pressures. Many people think that going on frequent dates in your early twenties is how you learn about yourself and discover what you look for in a partner.
I’ve always been the type of person who never saw the thrill in one-night stands or casual flings. I thought it was completely pointless to pursue a relationship with someone if you couldn’t envision a decades-long commitment with them.
As you may have guessed, people kept telling me to stop overthinking things and go on Tinder.
I don’t know what it was, but the idea of downloading a dating app and putting myself out there was terrifying and overwhelming. Every time I thought, “This is it, I’m finally going to create a dating profile,” I’d get busy, or something would come up, and…
